"Our word for 'love' is too big..."

"No, our word for love is too big... we don't say it as much. Hatred- I would never say that. In English, of course! But not in my language. Also, 'God' or 'Almighty'... just to say it is sometimes so much."

She's sitting across from me in my apartment living room, her laptop across her knees. I'm the same way, switching between Facebook and emails and movie editing. She's working on a grad school level project in Polish, talking with me in English, and probably thinking about her South American husband in Spanish. Dinner is over, a mix of Italian pasta and American-packet cheese sauce. Colbie Caillat and Jennifer Knapp are taking turns on my music mix this chill evening, and somehow the topic of 'the 5 love languages' came up. I've hugged this girl, cooked with her, washed up with her... and here we are talking about how you can formally categorise ways of showing love, according to Dr. Gary Chapman. And somehow our friendly, abstract conversation has given me a huge insight into this culture, or at least into her side of it.

"Those three words are said too much, and not enough..." (Snow Patrol). True that. But I don't know that I ever connected the size of it with language and cultural differences. Was in a conversation with my roommate and some Malaysians the other week... one of them said that she and her family do things to show love instead of saying it. That when she got on the plane to Europe, even then it was a tossup whether it would be said or not, whether there would be hugs or not. Culture. Especially when my American roommate laughs that *her* mom has to say "I love you" about five times, just hanging up from one Skype call. Especially when I sign off with my overseas family and dear friends by saying "Ik hou van jou", the Dutch equivalent, or another version, depending on who I'm talking to.

I tend to hold back from saying "I love you" until I really mean it, until a precious friendship has really come that far. And I've never said that to a guy (at least none older than my fave kids). 'Love' - the word, not the living out- can be just as hoarded in English as in more formal cultures. It can be 'just too big'. But what would it be like if I could hardly say the word God? If it was just too big, too precious? He did come close, and He wants us to call Him 'Father', another thought-provoking concept. But if we had that sudden moment of distance before we even voice His name... wow.